I ran into a problem of condemnation. Over the past year, I arrived at this place where life as I had known it previously was seemingly over. The thought of this gave rise to an idea of condemnation, that I was condemned, imprisoned to a personal existential Hell. For a while, I was stuck in this notion.
This problem, I would like to compare it with Nietzsche’s impending dilemma with nihilism. Or at least at the time it seemed comparable. Nietzsche sought through the Übermensch the death of god and the death of other-worldly values, and through this death a potential dilemma of nihilism crept forth. To ward off this potential nihilism, the Übermensch had to create a new set of values that were rooted in this-worldliness. It is in this way that I may have defeated this notion of condemnation.
To understand, condemnation can be seen as a sort of personal Hell. That is, condemned to a personal Hell. My apparent triumph over this thought came with this realization: one may be condemned to the lowest dungeon, sentenced for the rest of his existence to a state of oblivion, however he is not in fact dead. He continues to breathe in air, breathe in life. He may be condemned, but he is not 100% condemned. He is merely 99% condemned. This realization is encouraging. There is a fighting 1%.
There is a small percentage of will to claw his way out of the deep well that imprisons him. It will be a testing feat, he will fall and fail. However, out of forceful application of will he’ll manage and push on through. He will triumph over condemnation.
Perhaps this act is also in line with the Übermensch. The strong man, the overman, the Übermensch by force of will is strong enough to climb out of the deep well of his circumstance, and not only that, he is strong enough to triumph after he has failed numerous times over. Part of amor fati is learning to accept what one cannot control and to realize what one can. Today I aim to ascend with the fighting 1% and triumph over condemnation.