The Things We Take for Granted

People generally go through life trying to find some sort of genuineness, authenticity, something real in this culture of artifice and contrived fakery. It’s somewhat ironic that I on a daily basis, very literally search for what is real in suffering from depersonalization.

From an early age, when afflicted with an illness or injury, I very quickly realized the everyday normal functioning that I had taken for granted. For example, if a foot was injured I’d realize how I had taken walking for granted.

The same holds true now. I realize how I took being awake, being conscious for granted — just being comfortable in my own skin sitting absently behind a table with no anxiety. In that context, illness or injury bestows a since of gratitude.

It’s sad that these circumstances are what it takes most times to realize how good one has it. At any rate, I’m glad I made the realization. I’d like to say if I beat this illness that I’d never take being conscious for granted ever again, but realistically that’s probably a pipe dream. Maybe in some sense that is the point.

Humans are generally fickle people. I would like to count it as a lesson learned, but lessons are hard learned. However, I can at least confide in the fact that through future afflictions I will once again be made aware of the things I took for granted.

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